


New York's Not My Home

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Future, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-18
Updated: 2008-02-18
Packaged: 2018-12-27 15:21:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin's thoughts on New York-





	New York's Not My Home

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes:   Beta by girloftheburbs  


* * *

_Well, things were spinning ‘round me_  
And all my thoughts were cloudy  
And I had begun to doubt all the things that were me 

__“Thank you, Mr. Taylor. The slides are very good, but we’ve filled all the slots for the upcoming show.”

“You have talent. I’m sure we could use one of your pieces in a few months, but we just hung our Up and Coming artists show.”

“I don’t think your work is what we were looking for.”

“Do you have any brighter pieces? These are all very dark and we were hoping to showcase pieces that are a little more uplifting.”

_Been in so many places_  
You know I’ve run so many races  
And looked into the empty faces of the people of the night 

The rejections came day after day, week after week. He’d been in New York for six months, six very long months and nothing seemed right.

_I thought I’d make the big time._  
I learned a lot of lessons awful quick  
And now I’m telling you  
That they were not the nice kind 

He got off the bus, turned the corner and trudged up the steps to his one bedroom walk up. _One bedroom walk up. That is such a joke. More like city robbery. I have a bed that folds into the wall, a tiny closet and a burner to cook on. The bathroom is fucking down the hall. Brian would shit if he saw this place._

Brian would shit, but that was only if Brian would actually be in New York and see him. He’d called a few times when he first moved and they had emailed a few more times, but then he was too embarrassed to tell him how lonely he was, and what a bad decision he’d made, so he stopped communicating. _Funny how I’ve turned into Brian. Can’t admit I made a mistake. No regrets. No apologies. I fucking cannot stay here._

_And something is just not right, 'cause I know_  
That I gotta get out of here  
I’m so alone  
Don’t you know that I gotta get out of here  
Cause New York’s not my home. 

_But where to go? Do I go back to Pittsburgh? Do I go the loft, my mom’s condo? Hell if I know, but I can’t stay here._

He opened the door to his apartment, looked around at the tiny space, and longed for something different. Even Daphne’s apartment with three other roommates was better than this. Sitting in the chair, he closed his eyes, slumping in the chair and putting his head down on the table. He pushed the button on the answering machine and expected it to be another collection agency.

“Justin. I’m at the Ritz. If you’re not busy, why don’t you join me for dinner. Say 8:00?” Brian asked.

“Shit,” Justin said as he looked at his clock on the tiny microwave. “That’s a little over an hour and I’d have to change, shower and catch two buses before I could be there.”  
He took a calming breath and took out his cell phone, speed dialing the familiar number.

“Hey,” Justin said as Brian answered the phone.

“Look I just got home and, well…”

“I understand. Some other time, then,” Brian responded, frowning at the missed opportunity to see Justin.

“Wait, Brian it’s not like that,” Justin rattled off. “I’m not presentable for the Ritz and I have to shower and catch two buses before I could get there. It would be at least 10:00.”

“I see. Well, why don’t you shower and call a cab?” Brian suggested.

Justin swallowed his pride and admitted, “ I can’t afford a cab, Brian.”

“Call me from the cab and I’ll be waiting for you. I’ll pay for it.” Brian offered.

“You sure?” Justin asked, his heart starting to race at the thought of seeing Brian again.

“Sure. Call me when you’re ready to leave.”

“Sure,” Justin said excitedly. He stripped off his clothes, grabbed a towel and his kit and quickly went to the shower to get clean.

After dressing, he called the cab and directed the driver to the Ritz. He called Brian from the cab and he was waiting there as promised. Jumping out of the cab, Justin kissed Brian soundly on the lips and he was thrilled that Brian returned the greeting.

“Hey. Let’s go inside. It’s a little chilly out here. After all, it is December,” Brian chided Justin gently.

“Sure. Yeah.”

“Are we going to eat here or do you want to go somewhere else?”

“I was thinking room service.” Brian smiled as he eyed Justin’s body.

“I like the way you think.”

He pushed the elevator for the 18th floor and headed toward one of the suites. Putting his card reader in the slot, he motioned for Justin to enter into the room.

Justin looked around the huge suite, locating the bedroom off to the left. Walking into the room, he lay down on the bed and gave Brian his best come hither look. Brain quickly joined him on the bed where they immediately devoured each other’s mouths.

Brian pressed his mouth tightly to Justin’s, taking in the taste he’d missed during the last six months. Alternately licking and softly biting Justin’s lips, he savored the unique flavor. His quickly expanding cock pressed against his trousers as it sought Justin’s own engorged one. Without breaking their kiss, Brian unbuttoned Justin’s shirt, pulling it away from his body. He ran his hands over the silky chest, enjoying the feel of soft skin. Justin hummed in pleasure from Brian’s touch as he unbuttoned Brian’s shirt and removed it as well. Brian lay on top of Justin, skin to skin, kissing, tasting and caressing him. Each man quickly undid their pants, pushing the offending material to the end of the bed. Justin squeezed Brian’s ass cheeks, heightening his arousal and pressing the man to his body. They humped each other like teenagers for a few minutes, pushing their arousal to an almost painful level.

“Condom,” Justin cried out in his need.

Brian grabbed the lube and condoms he had placed on the night stand, quickly preparing Justin.

“NOW. I need you inside me,” Justin urged.

Brian opened Justin’s legs, pushing gently into the tight hole. Justin met his push with his own, sending Brian into Justin’s body in a quick entry. He waited for a sign from Justin that he had adjusted to the intrusion and when Justin began moving up to meet Brian’s body, he began his undulations. With Justin’s legs wrapped around Brian’s waist, Brian rode Justin until both men climaxed. Brian stayed in Justin, enjoying the closeness and feel of Justin surrounding him, but pulled out when he felt his cock start to soften. After tying off the condom and throwing it in the trash, he lay back down, placing himself behind Justin in order for him to wrap his arm around his waist. Brian placed soft kisses on Justin’s shoulders and neck as he breathed in the smell of the younger man. Justin hummed in enjoyment, but then his stomach growled loudly.

Brian laughed. “Christ. It’s a good thing I ordered the food delivered at 9:00. With as loud as that growl was, I’d think you hadn’t eaten all day.”

Justin cringed at the statement, but hoped his slight stiffness went unobserved. “So what are we having for dinner?”

Before Brian could answer, there was a knock at the door. “Grab a bathrobe and my wallet and tip the guy. I’ve got to hang up my suit,” Brian directed.

Justin gave Brian a knowing look, and did as Brian asked. Justin opened the door and a cart laden with all his favorites was in the hallway. The cart was bursting with food including strawberries, chocolate, Fettuccine Alfredo as well as Caesar Salad and cheesecake. After the young man wheeled the cart into the room, he tipped him generously.

“Brian,” he yelled.

Brian came out of the bedroom area wearing the matching bathrobe, giving Justin a quick kiss before sitting at the table. Justin prepared two plates and sat down. Justin buttered a roll, eating it in three quick bites. Then he placed another roll on his bread plate and picked up his fork to eat his salad. Brian watched Justin almost inhale the food, smiling at the young man’s voracious appetite. “Did you eat anything today?” Brian queried.

“Uhh,” Justin answered. “This is really good Caesar Salad.”

“Justin,” Brian said a little louder. “Did You Eat Today? It’s not a hard question to answer,” he demanded.

Justin hung his head down and replied softly, “No.” He picked up his fork and finished another few bites of salad.

Brian watched Justin, mulling over his answer. He picked up his fork and ate a few bites of the salad. _He’s either too busy to eat or he can’t afford it. He couldn’t afford the cab, but that is really expensive. But, not eating… that is unacceptable._

“Why?” Brian asked.

Justin took some pasta from the serving dish and placed it on his dinner plate. He then served Brian some chicken from a different platter. He twirled some pasta on his fork and chewed it slowly. Brian cut a small piece of chicken and chewed it while he waited for Justin to answer.

“Justin,” he said. “You aren’t very good at avoidance.”

“There’s no food in my apartment and I haven’t had time to shop,” Justin blurted out quickly.

“I see. Well I guess we’ll just have to go shopping and buy you some food,” Brian responded half-joking.

Justin blushed a deep red and Brian realized he hit a nerve. “You don’t have to. I’m sure you’re really busy with work and the campaign,” Justin said, attempting to thwart Brian’s usual generosity.

Brian watched Justin eat the remainder of the pasta while he finished his chicken. Justin remained unusually quiet, not talking about his life and his latest adventures during their meal. Allowing Justin his peace for now, Brian didn’t push for more information. They always said actions speak much louder than words, and Brian Kinney was beginning to realize that Justin was speaking volumes in his silence.

Justin finished his meal with a piece of the cheesecake and he tried to feed some to Brian. Brian declined but managed to snatch a few small bites from Justin’s plate. “I’m stuffed,” announced Justin as he stretched back in the chair, allowing his shirt to rise.

Justin took in the luxury; the feather duvets and six pillows on the bed, the oversized marble bathroom and deep-soaking tub, the bathrobes hanging in the closet for their use, the DVD player, and of course the Bang and Olufsen entertainment system. “The rich live differently. I’ll never be able to afford a room like this. Shit, my hole-in-the-wall apartment costs $800 a month and I have to use the bathroom down the hall.”

Brian frowned. “You don’t have a bathroom in your apartment. What kind of hole-in-the-wall are you living in, Justin?”

“A hole-in-the-wall I can afford and that is just barely,” Justin answered softly. “If I don’t…” Justin stopped, looking away from Brian. “I’m sure you didn’t come here to hear me lament about my apartment. Let’s enjoy the room.” He lay down on the bed, shooting Brian with his best come-hither look.

Brian smiled, loosened his tie and joined Justin on the bed.

“I missed you,” Brian softly admitted as he kissed Justin on the forehead.

“Me too. Why are you here? I mean…” Justin stammered.

“I have a meeting with Liberty Air tomorrow about their new account and I decided to come early. They were flying me here so…Wanna try out some of those amenities the Ritz is famous for?” Brian suggested.

“What do you have in mind?” Justin said in a sultry voice.

“Oh, that shower looks almost as inviting as the loft--let’s say we try it out. I’m feeling dirty from my trip.” Brian smiled as he walked toward the bedroom, dropping his bathrobe on the bed.

Justin followed suit and soon they were in the shower, enjoying each other again. When the water started turning cold, they reluctantly shut it off, dried themselves, and put on the bathrobes they had donned earlier.

They went to the living area of the suite, sitting on the couch.

“How is your art? When do I need to purchase my ticket for your first show?” Brian teased.

“It’s not. I can’t get anyone to look at my work.”

Brian nodded his head, but didn’t say anything.

“Lindsay and her ‘Art Forum’ are full of shit. No one is knocking down my door to hang my work and my agent, if you can call her that, isn’t any help,” Justin lamented. His stomach growled again.

“We just finished a five course meal. You can’t be hungry already,” Brian commented, but then remembered feeling Justin’s ribs when they were on the bed earlier. “Justin, be honest with me. Did you not eat today because you were busy or because you couldn’t afford food?”

Justin got up from the couch, walking over to the entertainment system, picking up a card with a list of movies that they could watch. He put the list down and picked up a different list of the music the hotel had for their listening pleasure. Brian again ‘heard’ Justin’s words as if he screaming them out loud.

“Why didn’t you say anything? I would have helped.” Brian walked over to Justin, sliding his hand down his back.

Justin sighed and turned toward Brian. “I’m not 17 years old anymore, Brian. I need to take care of myself. I can’t come running to you with my problems,” he explained, but gave Brian a quick kiss to soften the words.

“Okay. Are you coming home for the holiday? I know Debbie misses you,” he stated even though he would like to admit that he wanted Justin there as well.

“I don’t have the money. Tell her hello and that I’ll try next year.”

“I’ll pay for your ticket. She would shoot me if she saw how much weight you’ve lost. Consider it my Christmas present to you.”

Justin gave Brian a weak smile and kissed him quickly on the cheek. “Thank you. It will be nice to see everyone.”

“I’ll have Cynthia email your e-ticket. Still have your internet?”

“Yeah, I still have my account. I can go to the library and access my account. Can’t afford home access right now.”

“It’s late. We’ll continue this discussion tomorrow. Are you coming to bed?” Brian asked.

“I guess. I’ll have to leave around 7:00 so I can get to work. I still have to catch two buses to get back.”

“Okay, but I can give you cab fare. I’ll be getting up before then so it won’t be a problem. I remember riding the bus in this weather. It’s a real bitch. Now let’s get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”

The two men slept and as promised, Brian gave Justin cab fare in the morning, and Justin returned to his apartment so he could get ready for his job.

The glaring alarm woke him up. _Shit, I must have fallen asleep when I got home. What a dream. It would have been nice. Brian, me--at the Ritz. But I haven’t heard from him in months._

Justin got ready for work and grabbed the last bagel for breakfast. As he walked to the diner where he worked as a busboy, he relived his dream, realizing he had made a decision.

_And it’s been so long since I have felt fine, that the reason_  
That I gotta get out of here  
I’m so alone  
Don’t you know that I gotta get out of here  
Cause New York’s not my home.

He flipped open his phone, pressing the familiar button that would connect him to Brian.

“Hey,” Brian answered.

“Hey,” Justin said enthusiastically.

‘Is there still a place in your drawers for my drawers?”

Brian laughed at Justin’s playfulness. “Always.”

“Can you send me a ticket to come home?” Justin asked excitedly.

“Sure. Tell me the dates and I’ll have Cynthia send it today.” Brian smiled at the thought of Justin in his bed. He felt his cock harden at the prospect.

“I want to come home as soon as you can get the flight and I’m not going back.”

“What do you mean you’re not going back?” Brian asked, concerned at the turn of the conversation.

“New York’s not my home. I’ve sold a few things, but I’m not happy here. Brian, you only live once and I want to be with my family and you.”

“If you’re sure,” Brian hesitated.

“I’m sure. Your prince is returning to his castle. It will be a great Christmas.”

“That it will be, Justin. I’m glad you’re coming home. I’ve missed you. Later.”

“Later,” Justin said and hung up his phone. He smiled his megawatt grin and said, “Merry Christmas to me. Yee ha- I’m going home.”

The end  



End file.
